Hi, there. Thanks for visiting. I'm starting this blog as an advocate for mental and physical health. I'm a freelance writer and also own a home based medical transcription business. I was diagnosed in 1978 with paranoid schizophrenia and started to become acutely ill three years prior to that, unmedicated, frightened, confused, and in trouble with the law. I graduated from university with distinction the year I became ill. I've never regretted learning how to think at university. I struggled with my illness for 35 years and have reached the top of the mountain now, I think, or the other side, where the grass is greener and the path easier. There's hope for all of us, the whole human race, and never think there isn't hope or joy no matter your circumstances. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences with mental illness in all its forms: depression, brain injury, autism, schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety disorders, etc. and your positive experiences as well as those lies and half truths society and even therapists would have us believe about ourselves.

We are different folks, and we are beautiful. The whole human race is beautiful. Let's celebrate life.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Greatest of These

I've been loved in my life. And I've loved. But never more than now. Because I have the capacity and the desire to be kind to someone who may be suffering as I suffered many years ago, from an emotional or mental disorder, and I know I can't directly help her. Those who know me well, know the situation, and to those who do not, all that matters is that I made a decision more than a year ago to embark on an adventure which involved baring myself to ridicule and censure, and in so doing, I inadvertently involved others.

I'm talking about my decision to lay bare and fight the delusions and obsessions which remained of my little psychological disorder, to make public the battle shared with thousands of other human beings, and certainly without the intention to do so, perhaps to hurt someone who reacted to the initial episode with compassion and strength.

So there was my descent into hell and its environs 35 years ago, and the gradual ascent.

We learn from our mistakes. And I made many.

I learned faith. I learned hope. I learned love.

But the greatest of these is love.

And I learned that means letting go. It means this is not all about me. It means there are people in my life who are hurting, men and women. They are hurting and I love them and I can't help them.

I can't help them; never did - perhaps never can.

"Vanity, all is vanity...said the preacher." The Bible KJV

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