It's Their Sandbox

I love my little playground and I presume my friends and family love their sandboxes, too. So they can have their sandbox and I won't tromp on the grass in their playground. But I wasn't friends with my mother until I was 46 years old and I think Judi is right, it was that magic age that I began to understand my mother and where she was coming from all those years. That being said, I may have a problem with boundaries. That's been brought up by a rather abusive therapist many years ago, and she didn't have any answers other than I have a problem with boundaries, never mind the delusions and obsessions I was trying to discuss.

But I see my new psych tomorrow for assessment and if I'm given a chance to raise my own issues at this initial appointment I'll ask her about boundaries. A valuable lesson one of my family has taught me if that's the case, and I'm beginning to suspect it is.

I was talking about animals with someone today at my community service work, and he used to have a pet raccoon. Somebody shot the raccoon by mistake because he was too tame and didn't run away, like Bambi's mom, a very sad story but all too common with wildlife who are made into pets. This guy wanted a cougar (mountain lion or puma) for a pet, and I know they're an endangered species, also dangerous but I did watch Born Free with Elsa and she was a lion. Sometimes a wild predator or other wild thing will turn on their captors, though; for example as a child a neighbor had a deer he had "tamed" in an enclosure in his yard and the deer grew magnificent antlers - he was a buck or stag - and in rutting season one year the neighbor ventured into the enclosure and was found dead by friends later that day. The deer had run him through. But who knows, maybe he was teasing the pore thing...or you know, as my mother always said about the wildlife, they were here first. We're invading their territory.

OMG, my mother was right about EVERYTHING!!!

Age Gap

Bob's Journal said in response to "Lewis Carrol" - "But the truth is there. The age gap remains. We used to be that way, at least I know I was, and now I see it in younger souls, and you can't give them all the answers, but maybe give the young the right questions that they can figure them out, so they too can become fat, old and flabby jawed."

Well, it was one of the younger generation who said I want a relationship they don't want (one of my family). I guess I succeeded in raising independent, intelligent children who give back to society. I've said that before but must say it until I believe it. I may be fat, old and flabby jawed in their eyes, but perhaps not, Bob. I wasn't friends with my parents. They were my parents. Now the trend seems to be pals with your kids. Is that healthy? I don't know but I'm not pals with my kids. I'm their mom.

However, the lesson remains. The age gap is there, as you said.

"Be off or I'll kick you downstairs..." Very well said, Father William.

You know, this poem was written in response to Robert Southey's pontifications, to deflate his pomposity. I sometimes do the same but people don't like it, do they?

I'm wondering if I should care. Or if I should simply balance an eel on the end of my nose and kick the naysayers in their rump.

It's true, I feel more at ease with people of my own generation.

Relationships

Someone advised me tonight that I can't demand a relationship just because I want it. Story of my life. But that has another side to it - nobody else can force ME into a relationship I don't want!

Back to the sandbox.

The Sandbox of my Childhood

I went to the RCIA (Rites of Catholic Initiation) today after mass. Very welcoming and pleasant group of people, seem intelligent and most are younger than I am by quite a bit. The priest I saw last week was there, too, and the Coordinator of the program. They want a document giving proof that I was baptized and that's basically all that stands in my way as I don't plan to marry again. The priest said my second marriage was valid and would have to be annulled if I married again. God forbid! Marriage that is, not the annulment.

Anyhow, I'm scurrying back to the sandbox but will keep my eyes open for adult fun.

Universe of my Soul

I've been given a universe to mold and which, in turn, will mold me. We've all been given our individual universes and what we do with them is up to us -- they can be viewed as talents given by the Lord which we may bury in the dirt, spend unwisely (an option not given in the Bible), put in the bank to garner simple interest, or invested. The investment intimates risk of losing it all, but gives the most dividend, and that is what I have done - taken risks. And now I have a universe to manage, brand new, waiting for my touch. My universe will be fair and just, safe, loving, innovative, exciting, intelligent, funny and creative. My universe will mold me just as I mold it, and I've already started. I must be careful and the responsibility is great, but it's fun and it's necessary. The universe of my soul.

TICKLED PINK

Photos taken at sunrise today, Saturday morning, one day before we turn our clocks ahead to Mountain Daylight Time. Can spring be far behind?

"He who is not busy being born is busy dying."
~Bob Dylan

By Lewis Carroll

"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"

To Robert Southey. Lighten up.

I'm just fine and my shoulders are strong from doing headstands when I was younger. Life is a cabaret, old chum. Come to the cabaret.

Clear the track here comes Shack.