tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7305064376392598419.post5999150926821857210..comments2023-02-24T01:16:42.955-07:00Comments on "Different Folks": A thorn tree doesn't bear figsKennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03222667027378438486noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7305064376392598419.post-80353805829595393702010-08-24T21:13:14.923-06:002010-08-24T21:13:14.923-06:00My kids say I can stop apologizing to them, they a...My kids say I can stop apologizing to them, they already know I couldn't help it...but, how does one stop apologizing to oneself, and rationalizing back?<br /><br />Since this latest recovery, I find that the good winds up crowding out the bad almost without effort on my part. Now, that could just be good drugs, but it feels like more, too.<br /><br />It feels like the head work I've already done is starting to catch up with me. When the chemical balance is right, I bob to the surface like a cork. I can see what's behind me in the water, but I can where where it's clear ahead of me, too. That doesn't mean I don't have to swim to get somewhere, but at least there's a visible path.<br /><br />In some ways, this middle age thing has turned out to be the best, most productive and positive time in my life. Experience? Maybe. Could be the hormones, too. Hormones made me crazy. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.<br /><br />I'm glad you're feeling good about the steps you've taken. I have always been very open about my situation, but I grew up just enough years behind you that it was probably easier for me to do so. <br /><br />I shudder to think about having to hide this part of who I am. They can see my hazel eyes and freckles; they can't see that I'm part Danish (hi Judi) or that I have a mood disorder. If questioned, I wouldn't hesitate to divulge either fact.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14574462116226623945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7305064376392598419.post-70432684953280934912010-08-23T08:02:26.407-06:002010-08-23T08:02:26.407-06:00My past is fraught with painful memories of being ...My past is fraught with painful memories of being hurt and hurting others, doing wrong things and doing things wrong. Until recently, these negative memories assaulted me daily, making me cringe with remorse and embarrassment. That's a hellish way to live.<br /><br />My past was devouring my present, endangering my future.<br /><br />I can't do anything to change what's happened, but I could -- and did -- wage war against such thoughts, refusing to entertain them. A Bible verse (somewhere) that says "Do not remember earnestly the [mistakes] of the past" became my sword.<br /><br />I commend you, friend, for deciding to use your present in positive behavior toward yourself and others. It's the best and only memorial we can give to our unhappy pasts.<br /><br />I believe your children and friends love you very much, and are truly proud of every single victory you've achieved over your illness and its effects throughout your life.<br /><br />KUDOS for seizing the day with joy and expectation of a better future, a better YOU!Judinoreply@blogger.com